Saturday, September 26, 2009

A Time to Rejoice

A Time to Rejoice … yes, that’s a given … but there also comes the season of mourning.

Does your heart ever get confused as to what it’s supposed to feel? Like, are you ever in the middle of a joyous moment and out the clear blue an instant of pure, intense sadness cuts through you like a knife taking your breath away?

This is where I am – outwardly content and well-adjusted and then striking me in sporadic moments I am entertaining grief at the passing of my sister a year ago. I miss her in ways I never knew I would. I feel depths of thankfulness for her life and the absolute humbleness at having been a privileged part of hers.

I am not typically a sad or moody person. I don’t dwell in the land of the morose for any length of time but I have my moments – it’s usually a side-trip on my way to somewhere else. And every so often, when I find myself unexpectedly here, I revel in it. I let the sadness wash over me and through me and let it burrow down to my very depths – for just a moment.

There are times when I know I am coming upon this sadness and rather than let it be unwelcomed or take me unawares I plan for the time when I can weep unashamedly – just me and the Lord participating in a time of deep grief. In the shower, driving by myself on a country road, at the graveside, or in the woods near our home. I give myself, say fifteen minutes, and when the tide of this heartache subsides, I stand tall, shoulders back, head up and carry on.

Smiling at the wonder and mystery of life,  I reflect on all it offers and I am glad, so very, very glad I am me – a daughter of the Almighty King and I acknowledge the sweet meaning of ‘A Time to Rejoice’. 

Earlier I posted a note with pictures at Reflections from Robin – a little more in tribute to our special Joni.
Also, at Your Ninth Hour there are excellent resources in dealing with grief. You truly do not have to ‘go it alone’. Let others be a part of your walk through the land of grief. Before you know it burdens become blessings and life is good again.

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